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Fifty Life Lessons from Flamenco

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Fifty Life Lessons from Flamenco

During last weekend's Flamenco Retreat at the Oregon Coast (which I'm still on a high from by the way and which you can see pictures of below) we all agreed that flamenco teaches us about life and about ourselves

So, today I share with you fifty life lessons I've gleaned from flamenco.

Fifty Lessons:

(This list is full of links in case you'd like to dive deeper into some of the lessons.)

  1. Listen to your intuition, and trust your instincts.
  2. Express your true feelings
  3. Be present.
  4. Stand beautifully in your power.
  5. Prepare. (Really prepare.)
  6. Take risks.
  7. Focus.
  8. Act with intention.
  9. The answers are in the mirror, so look.
  10. Show up.

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How to Turn Physical Strength Into Mental Strength

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How to Turn Physical Strength Into Mental Strength

Every time I return home from the Flamenco Tour to Jerez I feel stronger. (It’s impossible not to after all of that time in class with Mercedes Ruíz.) I've learned how to turn the physical strength gained through dancing flamenco into mental strength to help me face challenges in my life. At the end of this post, I'll lead you through an activity to help you do the same.

Let’s begin with an excerpt from my journal a few years ago upon returning home from The Flamenco Tour:

I am home, and I feel it,

The strength.

I feel it in my body, and I feel it in my being. (I always forget how this happens.)

The thing I wasn’t strong enough to do before I left. I can now do it. The thing I tried so many times to do before but couldn’t. The thing I kept trying to do but told myself I wasn’t strong enough to do.

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Part 1: Four Dance Tips Learned from Monday Morning Observations

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Part 1: Four Dance Tips Learned from Monday Morning Observations

A story on the value of observation from a past Flamenco Tour (followed by four bulerías take-aways):

Sunday night I was writing

About flamenco and Jerez and what I'm doing here and what I want to learn here.

And I set some intentions for the week.

I had a few.

One was to Observe

To observe people dancing bulerías. Especially people whose dancing I liked. In class and out. Anywhere and everywhere.

To watch them, really watch them. And to notice what was happening.

To notice how they responded to the cante.

To notice how they danced with the compás.

To notice when they did what they did.

To notice the things I liked.

To notice the things that worked.

Maybe even to notice the things I didn't like.

And to notice the things that didn't work.

On Monday morning I went to bulerías class

That was the day Ani taught the ladies about dancing on a floor tile. I'll tell you about that in the next post.

It was also the day she read my mind.

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Dance As If You Were in Class with Mercedes - The Warm-up

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Dance As If You Were in Class with Mercedes - The Warm-up

Yesterday I invited you to partake in the Dance as if You Were in Class with Mercedes Challenge with me. I figured it would be a fun way to keep some flamenco in our lives during the holidays while classes are on break. So, we'll be simulating being in class with Mercedes from the comfort of our own homes for seven days beginning December 25.

Below is a short activity to help you to get you ready.

By the way, I meant to send this out earlier today, but I was traveling to visit my family, and all of a sudden it's late! So, this can definitely be done on Day 1 of the challenge instead.

Optional warm-up activity

Materials needed: sticky notes or other paper, writing utensil, possibly this post.

Time it will take: 5-10 minutes.

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When Writing Gets in the Way

Writing saved me in Jerez, ... And then it got in the way.

Today I want to talk about how writing can become, well, detrimental in class.

Yes, detrimental

I'll begin with another excerpt from my notebook:

April 19, 2011

Mercedes scolded me once again in class this morning, calling me back out onto the dance floor. Clearly I was to be dancing, not writing.

Yes, once again, Laura and her book has come up.  It comes up a lot.  No one else writes anything down in Jerez.

They don't get me, I know, but I totally don't get them either!

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How Writing Saved Me in Jerez

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How Writing Saved Me in Jerez

I can't imagine learning flamenco without pens and paper. I really can't.

On paper I take notes.  On paper I figure things out.  On paper I put the thoughts that circle inside my head.  And there's just something I like so much about the feel of the pen moving atop the paper.

I often write in little books

They helped me a lot in the beginning, in Sevilla.

They help me today.

And they helped me a lot in Jerez.

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I Went to Therapy

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I Went to Therapy

This is about getting therapy accidentally.

Accidentally and without a lot of work.

It's something you can try too.

Here's how it happened for me once...

An excerpt from something I wrote last summer:

Thursday was tough. For various unforeseen reasons. I wanted to just stay home and feel sorry for myself.

But, I didn't.

Well, I did for a bit, but then I made myself go to class with Danica.  

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Intención

You've heard me talk about Ani and her bulerías class and about bits of wisdom I've learned from her. I want to share another bit today.

It's one of those things she said that sent me scurrying to my notebook.  I didn't think much about it when she said it.  I just knew it was importante and that I wanted to write it down.

Concepts

In bulerías class you learn steps.

But you don't have to do them.

You can.  Or you can do your own.  Or someone else’s.

So, yes, you learn steps.

But you're really there to learn concepts.

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The Discovery

The other day I made a great discovery.  (I'll tell you about it in a minute.) But first I want to talk about noticing, something I did a lot of last year.  It helps me to focus.  It teaches me all kinds of things.  And I intend to keep it up.

At times I record the noticings in little books.  At times I share them with others, like you.  At times they just stay in my cabeza.  Other times in my cuerpo.

Noticing is good.

It shows me stuff.  Like tendencies to rush, to stop listening, to leave my body.

It tells me what I need to work on.

It points out when I’m enjoying myself and when I’m not, to what factors into that, and how certain things feel.

It teaches me about how I like to create, about environments I work best in, about how I like to dance, why I like to dance, and who I like to dance with.

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Things to Remember Before a Performance

It's almost time to perform, and I'm worrying.  I've felt this way before... But I guess I needn't worry so much.  At least I don't have to get up in front of the whole audience to talk and start crying instead.

Anyway, so I decided to take myself for a walk to the farmer's market to get some fresh flowers.  Only there was no farmer's market because it's Saturday, not Sunday.  Oh yeah.  But it got me out walking.  And a walk is always good for me.   I walked and went through some steps in my head.

Now I'm giving myself encouragement.  I'll be there sharing the stage with people who are wonderful and supportive!

And I'm writing myself some notes, some reminders for tonight and tomorrow.

Here are some things to remember before (and during) a show...

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Raining Paper | Little Books Part Two

If you missed Little Books Part One, you can read it here. Today I want to talk about how writing can sometimes be, well, detrimental in a class.

Yes, detrimental.

I'll begin with another excerpt from Jerez last year...

April 19

Mercedes scolded me once again in class this morning, calling me back out onto the dance floor.  Clearly I was to be dancing, not writing.

Yes, once again, Laura and her book has come up.  It comes up a lot.  No one else writes anything down in Jerez. They don't get me, I know, but I totally don't get them either!

"Es que ella siempre está escribiendo en esa libreta," Mercedes said to the class later as I was, but again, with pen in hand, frantically trying to write down which arm went where and with which foot.  "No sé que escribe pero siempre está allí escribiendo." 

She must think I'm the strangest student in the world.  To her I must be all about paper and notes.

Especially after the paper raining incident...

You see later in the day during clase de castañuelas, where the book rarely comes out  - as you can imagine writing with castanets on isn't the easiest thing in the world to do -  Anyhow, we were warming up, and my clothes literally began raining paper.  Sticky notes to be exact.

I noticed in the mirror that my chest looked funny so I pulled at my top to see what was going on when a sticky note fell from the bottom of my shirt and fluttered onto the floor in front of me.  Naturally it caught Mercedes's eye.  Nothing goes by unnoticed in her class.

"Y qué pasa con esto Laura?"  she asked.

Oh my goodness.

"¡Por Díos!  What is up with this chica and all of her papers and notes?"  she must wonder.

So I then had to explain how I had stuck the note to myself earlier so as not to forget that I wanted to ask Maite something before class began (the best way to get to Portugal) I knew that if I didn't stick it to myself I would forget, and, as you can see I would have... Needless to say, the note served its purpose.

So, the thing is this.  Writing helps me to learn.  I love it.  And it's a great tool.  But...I think I got a little carried away with the whole thing last year in Jerez.  Sometimes I became so obsessed with writing things down, with recording stuff, that I wasn't allowing myself to fully be there.  I was getting in my own way of really being in class.

I won't stop writing, oh no, and I won't stop using it to help me with flamenco.  But I'm thinking less of it when I'm in a class or workshop would be a good thing.  Allowing my body to be fully present without the distraction of  feeling a need to write everything down.  Trusting myself a bit more.  Trusting my body a bit more.  And reflecting more after.

That is what I'm thinking.

You can still get in on the October trip to Spain.  Let's go to Jerez and drive Mercedes crazy by taking lots of notes in class.  Just kidding.  Though I will be taking some little books for sure.  

Ok, your turn.  What do you think?  

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Little books

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Little books

I can't imagine learning flamenco without pens and paper.

I really can't.

On paper I take notes. On paper I figure things out. On paper I put the thoughts from inside my head. And there's just something I like so much about the feel of the pen moving atop the paper...

I often write in little books.

They helped me a lot in the beginning, in Sevilla. They help me today. And they helped me a lot in Jerez.

An excerpt from Spain last year to help explain...

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This One Big Thing

Ok, so there is this one thing I've noticed that really, really, really has a BIG effect on my dancing.  Is it the biggest effect?  I don't know.

But it's big

I know how important it is, yet I still refuse to consistently give it the credit it deserves.

I want to remember to do it.  Or no, not remember, I want to do it even if I don't want to.

You know how much I like stories, so let us begin with a story.

Un cuento

It was a Wednesday much like today, sunny and hot that is.  I was in Jerez.  It was the spring of 2011...

The rest of the story comes in the form of but another excerpt from my journal.

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