What show?  TraCaTRA. Danica would arrive in Portland on Monday; the show would happen the following Sunday.  We've put together shows in less time, entonces, "Sí, hagamos un show!" we decided.

El proceso para mí: I notice I often really really really want to do a show then stop wanting to as the date approaches because I get SCARED and start losing the motivation to prepare.

It seems to go something like this:

1. An idea - Excitement

2. A bit of freaking out  "Ay, where to start?" -  Overwhelm

3. Getting into the creating - Fun

4. More freaking out as my focus turns more heavily to the final product,  "It won't be good enough; they will expect me to be like a fantabulous dancer from España," etc. etc etc. - Not wanting to do it anymore

5. And then...Oh no, need to promote more, and starting to feel TOTALLY out of the show preparation process - Stress

6. Mind going in circles, out of the process way too soon - Ahhh! - Aún más estrés

7. Trying to get back in it...

8. Getting back in it...

9. Back and Forth -  #7 to #8 to #7 to #8 #7 to #8 and on and on

And now, a bit about this week's preparation:

July 4   Playing Palmas in the Park Danica arrived.  Lunch and planning and even a bit of singing together with Diana at Elephant's Delicatessen.  Then Danica I made our way to Washington Park.  Why not work out our stuff in a beautiful place?  Lots of playing with palmas, until the mosquitos arrived....

July 5   Buxton: a Few Hours of Vacation Bleck.  That's how I felt when I woke up; emotionally and physically.  Went to Toshi's bright and early (according to certain people's definition) and off to Marco's we went.  Feeling more and more relaxed the further we got from the city, more trees, more green.  We arrived at Mark's.  Let me stay!  It is tan tranquilo there.  Going through the music on the porch.  Beautiful guitarra and singing made me cry, really, but it was a good kind of crying.  And that yucky feeling from the morning lessened.  The power of arte and naturaleza and buena gente.

July 6   First Rehearsal with Everyone There were some tense moments, but it was still good and fun and productive.  We had Jason today; I love the addition of the flute.  Toshi said things that made us laugh.  And I LEARNED.  I am liking this process.  Perhaps the product exists to help motivate us to be in the process...

July 7   "See you in 12 hours!" That was how we left each other tonight.  Made it hard to do my homework but oh well, maybe everything just needed to sit in my brain and body anyway.  Rehearsal felt good tonight.  Spirits were up.  Starting to see the whole picture, except when I would forget to come in with my palmas because I was semi spaced out noticing all of the cool things Danica was doing with her fan.  I wish I wouldn't do that.  I wish I would just focus.  Oh, and guess what, the cookies made an appearance tonight.  It just happened.  I heard "I'm so hungry," so naturally I remembered the cookies.  (This is the last bag.)

July 8   When we Saw Each Other In 12 Hours Treats from Danica today.  And she told me not to be stressed because it was all going to be fine, "Or is that how you get?" she asked.  "Exactly, that's how I get,"  I told her.  "But you always seem so calm,"  "Sí, it's a bit of a problem; I'm working on it though..."  More stuff figured out as a group.  Lots of mental notes about the homework I needed to do.  Went home and wrote them down to help make sense of things in my cabeza.  Then I went over some of my messy parts and realized many parts feel impossible to make unmessy in time.  And I had that realization I often have that there seems more still to learn than I feel able to before the show.  Uh-oh.  One more bath with epsom salts because that felt good last night.  Some more time to run in my head things I hadn't yet gone over.  Then I tried the tennis ball on my back trick from Danica again because it helped my shoulder yesterday, only I had to use a juggling ball because that's all I could find.

July 9   A Full Run-Through We did it.  The whole show without stopping (well, with only minor stopping) and with costume changes - Jason liked the coordinated clothing.  It's really going to happen.  Thank goodness no one showed up for the zumba class that was supposed to be in the studio at 4:00 because we needed more time.  Time to go over the parts that completely and totally didn't work.  We made them better.  Diana was supposed to be saving her voice, but she kept forgetting, so we would remind her.  Oh and she brought treats, the best yet, salted chocolates.  And I believe we all left knowing what we needed to do for tomorrow's show.  Danica and I arrived at her hotel and couldn't stop talking about our favorite amazing flamenco dancers from España and then, espérate, there is still more work to do!  I must go do the things that need to be done...last minute promotion, clothes washing, ironing, organization of trajes and accessories, remembering what I have to remember, etc. etc. etc.

July 10 The Show Will Happen A chance to do something I love with wonderful musicians and artists.  This is good.  Hoping tomorrow I can remember some of my favorite advice from Ricardo regarding shows:  At the moment of, Hay que disfrutarlo.

What has your experience been before a show?  Any kind of show.  Leave a comment here.